My challenge is to write an embarrassing story, maybe the most embarrasing story of this year or this decade. However if you have ever met me or read my blog for long, you will know that my life is well…..interesting. It takes a tough person to walk down the street with me because one minute I will be walking down the street minding my own business and the next I will have somehow stumbled and pushed the person walking next to me into the wall and they will have unexplainable bruises the next day. Awesome.
I don’t just have one story, I have the story of my life. I will try to keep it short for this post.
I am a recovering hairstylist. Let us talk about the time I was wearing a skirt, loose underwear and no pantyhose. In the middle of the haircut, you guessed it, my underwear fell off. There is not a recovery path for that. Also while cutting hair, I asked my client if I could blow him off. Thankfully he had a good sense of humor and the grace not to pinch my ass after I asked him.
I have squirted mustard on a first date shirt (on the guy not me), licked my finger then my boss’s face to get lettuce off, handed my birth control prescription to the teller at the bank instead of ID, spilled Coke Zero down my white T-shirt while interviewing a man that already thought I was out of control, called my boss because I was lost while working at a semi well known online mapping company and dropped my boss’s iPhone in the toilet while cleaning the bathroom. (I was not a janitor, just a clean freak.) I also have caught the microwave on fire while making popcorn.
I wish I just had one story. Many people have that ONE story they don’t want shared to the rest of the world. I am that person that is unleashed onto the world and then chaos starts. I will never be called graceful on purpose or on accident.
