My dear people….I have no words, you just have to look at the picture and realize, I’m weird ok.
Yes, I believe he is trying to pick my nose. Which in person? I’ve done that to someone because they kept missing the damn thing. And “a little to the left” just wasn’t working.
Don’t try this at home, I am a card carrying social spaz.
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If I poured another drink
What would you think
About staying in?
If I was sincere
And whispered my fears
Would you still be here?
Would you stay?
Would you stay with me?
Would you stay?
Would you stay with me?
Ok, one of my Jaiku peeps, James decided it would be fun to learn 8 random facts about in the form of a meme. I’m sure he will need beer for this! Cheers mate, this is for you!
1. I think bubble gum and chewing gum are from the devil. I hate watching people chew it, worse yet, listen to it.
2. I set my parents 7 acre lawn on fire when I was 20. The whole damn yard. Ask me sometime, I might tell you the story.
3. I quit smoking 11 years ago, and recently have been struggling with the addiction again. I don’t want to give in. Not because of the money, but because I am stronger than that. But some days? I truly struggle.
4. I love shoes. Yet? I am always bare foot.
5. I never wear a watch. I have a fancy one from the jewelry store, and I rarely wear it. Like, I think I wore it 3 years ago last. But, I keep the thing, because it was gift and it is sentimental.
6. Speaking of sentimental….I am one. I may not appear to be…but I am. A genuine emotion is more important to me than a million dollar diamond.
7. I have a book written and will probably never publish it. Because of the people involved, and who it would hurt. Writing it though? Was very cathartic and I am my best audience.
8. I get emails all the time asking me if I am really as crazy I say on here. The answer to that? More so, you only get snippets. I have embarrassed hair clients, business partners and boyfriends alike with being in public with me. My underwear breaks down, I ask for floss that has a good erection (see what that does for my google searches), I go through the drive thru and tell them to “make it to go”, I will use my finger as your napkin, and think nothing of it. If you can’t handle this kind of social awkwardness, I don’t know what to tell you.
So who to tag? Yes, Helen, that would be you. I’ve dedicated a whole post in your honor because you needed to know about me being in public. And I know you have appliances breaking down. Spill it.
Who else? You know what? I don’t know. I see you coming here and yet you don’t say anything. So, if you are reading this, leave a comment and let me know you are here. Or if I should shut up. (I’ll be really sad if no one talks to me). Rush off and tell me things about yourself. Be a luvie and just do it ok?
If you do it, I’ll tell you about my recent bra fitting appointment I went to, and I’ll just tell you that the 90 year old conservative lady who did mine wasn’t appreciative of my back tattoo, or that I told her I wanted a bra that could hold up the sinking Titanic. But that has velcro fastenings to help the guy out.
“Long after moments of closeness have passed, a part of you remains with me and warms the places your hands have touched and hastens my heart for your return.” Robert Sexton
My family? What can I say? Sitting with my father, in the hospital would be enough right? Watching the man larger than life being smaller than an infant, that would be enough. But no. I have a sister, who likes to stick sharp knifes in my heart. And a mother who pretends everything is ok (ever wonder where I get that from, I’m watching the queen right now). An oldest son who is asking me why I don’t move back home. A brother in law who wants me to help set up that website he has been talking about and can I talk macro flash with him for a bit? And I might have proposed to the hospital chaplain and there may be a wedding on the way. Because I think the church allows that now.
I’ve been up 42 hours at this point. I might propose to you next. Just say yes ok. I don’t have a ring, but I will get you one ok baby?
My father is in the hospital, at the age of 70, with fluid on his lungs. My relationship with him over the years has been rocky, but now, has come to an understanding. A rocky understanding.
My best friend and I were talking on the phone about him. He just lost his grandmother to the same thing in December. He said something now that he said then. It made me cry then too. “I’m praying Melissa”. This man. I can not begin to tell you this anger and tears he and I have shed talking about God and the injustice of humanity.
And yet? He stopped to pray for my daddy. And meant it.
I’m not speechless often. This was one of those of those times.
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