I’m Not A Spur Of The Moment Kind Of Gal

When I thought about working at home, I had dreams of wearing my pajamas all day while playing with the baby and working while he took naps. I was wrong. A small business here in the town I live in is wanting to start up a website and I’m helping them out and consulting with them on the copy. Here’s what I did not anticipate.

 

ring, ring

 

“Hello” while stopping the baby from falling off the back of the couch.

 

“Hi. I have a revised copy of what we were talking about the other day and I’m heading out of town in an hour. I need you to look over it quickly before I leave.”

 

Me looking down at my Winnie the Poo flannel pajama bottoms and the white t-shirt that I dripped cake batter on and wiped off with my finger(totally tasted great).

 

“Ummm, I can meet you at your office in 20 minutes if you like.”

 

“Well, I was wondering I can stop by because we are having the carpet’s cleaned right now and that way I can just leave your house and get out of town.”

 

Oh. Crap. You see, my house is a museum of everything I have been deprived of the last 10 years. I have Strawberry Shortcake place mats, and matching tea set in my kitchen. Oh and the baby realized he likes toast this weekend. On the carpet. With the obligatory crumbs and smears. And I’m still in my pajamas. This is not the image of professionalism I wanted to portray. I used to be manager of a jewelry store. I dressed in heals and skirts everyday for 12 hours. But not anymore. And this man who I want to write me a check and I want referrals from is wanting to come over to my house. Now. Without my preparations.

 

“Sure. I have a baby you know. I don’t have a babysitter yet.”

And then the sweet sound of deliverance came. And I want to become this man’s business partner for life.

 

“It’s OK, my wife and I have 6 kids and 2 foster children. I haven’t seen the carpet in 12 years now.”

Funny Girl

I’m am taking a second to nominate one of my favorite blogger for this award.  She makes me laugh and I love her.  She’s witty, she’s in the process of moving and still has her sense of humor.  With a name like Mrs. Flinger, how could you not like her?  Shelley Divnich Haggert is giving away a free copy of her book  Generation Xhausted which just sounds like me.  Winner will be picked Friday.  Go check out her website.  And nominate someone who makes you laugh.  And really someone has to win, why not you?  (Ok, I don’t really want you to win over me, but I had to put that in there.)

 

Giving 100% Or Some Where Near That

 

I’ve realized this past week that maybe I’m not enjoying life to it’s fullest anymore.  It’s not because I’m sleep deprived or broke although I am those things.  I’ve wrapped myself in a cocoon and not only to protect myself.  I wanted to protect the people I loved because it seemed when I put it all out there, they were hurt too.  So I self contained.  And it’s worked up till now.  But I feel like I’m only getting so much and really only giving so much of my own self.  I was afraid of getting too close to the edge and falling off again, and now I’m not even near the mountain. 

Maybe it’s because I now I have a passenger with me that made me scared.  Maybe it was me that made me scared.  But I have to quit just getting by.  The season’s are turning and now it’s time for deep soul searching to be able to give more.  More to my family, more to my friends, more to my church.  Just more.  Do I have the strength to reach in and find where this vast energy will come from?  I don’t know, but I’m anxious to start trying.

Good Looking, If I Say So Myself

 

Not that great of a picture, but man do they look alike.  I really am the dominate gene pool.

Minutes after he learned to pull himself up, however I’m slow and didn’t capture the moment.  He’ll learn to resent me for not being there for his momentous occasions, I’m sure.

 

Do People Still Use That Thing?

I  was going to write a post about the latest blog gossip, but instead I’m all a twitter.  My parents and oldest son are coming up to visit me tomorrow.  I haven’t seen my father in almost two years.  Here’s why long story short.(#32 and down).  And here’s another piece of that puzzle.  Anyways, I was talking to my mother and her visit.  And then she took my breath away.  My father wants to come up.  I’m amazed.  And twitching.  The twitching isn’t under control at this point.  I honestly think he just wants to see the baby.  And that’s ok. I’m an internal pessimist though and can see how this day will go already. 

My family comes in.  I show my dad around and my son will comment on every single thing I’ve bought.  Pleasantries all around.  And then my father will ask me what I’m planning on doing, you know, for money.  And I will tell tell him I’ve designed a few web sites locally and am hoping to go larger.  And he will say “Oh people still use the internet?”  I will try not to laugh and then we will eat.  I’m hoping the baby takes the pressure of me, because he’s so cute and bubbly.  And my oldest son is a talker.  I know, hard to believe coming from me, but he is.  I will learn more about his Gameboy than I’ve ever wanted to know and he’ll make jokes till I snort with laughter.

And now I’m going to go bleach my entire house, because I don’t want my father to know that sometimes I don’t get out of my pj’s.  And I need to make a good impression.  My personality can be the same, but I need him to know that I’m making it on my own.

After I quit twitching and maybe a shot of vodka.

 

I’m Ready For My Penis And An Instruction Manual

The boy said his first word.  Dadda.  Only he says it like daddddddaaaadddddaaaaaddddaaaaa.  He called me that at church when I went to pick him up.    I hope I don’t loose my penis like I loose my remote control.

 

One Sided Conversations I Hope His Wife Doesn’t Have to Repeat In 20 Years

Please don’t pull on my nipple like that, it makes my eyes bleed.

No, no I don’t like your foot on my crotch right now.

Thank you for licking my face, let’s practice on kissing next time.

Seriously don’t pull on my nipple like that, bunnies are crying over this.

Don’t pee on the carpet, it’s rude.

I don’t want you using you new tooth to bite my nose off.

The bunnies, think of the bunnies.

No, my breast bone doesn’t squish back farther into my body, it’s good where it is.

 

So I’m Not Always Funny

I’m divorced.  I left a very abusive relationship.  Ad nauseam, that’s not what this post is about.  It is about the effects still felt 3 years after the divorce is felt and overcoming those.

I did something this past week.  I applied for a job.  I am well qualified for this job and would very much like to be hired for it.  I would lick the hiring manager’s hand if hired for this job.  But that’s not the victory here.  It took me 2 days to get the courage to do what was required for consideration.  And another day to submit it.  Because I had no confidence.  And then it hit me.  He’s not going to win.  The asshole isn’t going to infringe on what I’m well qualified to handle.  He’s not going to win.  For I won three years ago when I left.  And I won this week when I choose to not listen to the inner voice he implanted and forge ahead anyway.  It doesn’t even matter if I’m hired.  I won in submitting.  And it feels good.

 

This Public Announcement is Brought To You By The Makers of Immodiam Ad

Don’t and I repeat don’t, eat 4 bowls of Raisin Bran unless you suffer from chronic constipation.  I don’t suffer from this infliction.  The bright side of this is I’m now 3 days ahead in my daily devotions book.

 

 

33 Mintues

The other night I turned into bed at 2:00 am. My son woke up at 2:33 am. And didn’t go back to sleep till 7 when I had to get around to pretend to be awake. 33 minutes doesn’t buy a whole lot of happiness or sanity in my books. And it seems like I’m not alone. Many of the other blogs I visit are having these same issues. Either the kids don’t sleep or the parents have insomnia. I thought I would tell you what 33 minutes buys you in this house hold:

A fight with a loved one when he may or may not have said the wrong thing.

Calling the Optometrist when I meant to the call the Chiropractor. (Yes she did laugh when I asked if her if I could get an appointment to pop it back into place.)

Washing my hair with conditioner.

Walking out of the house with two different shoes on and having to go back to change.

Calling the repair man for the dryer when in fact I had forgot to shut the dryer door.

Putting clothes in “fixed dryer” and coming back to find I had forget to put clothes in dryer.

Sleep my friends sleep, don’t let this happen to you.